The ball jokes go on for days, weeks, hell our lives revolve around balls jokes. Live your dream of being funny…... Haha, and submit your best ball “one liner” or ball joke. We will monitor all the jokes (for the G-raters) and display jokes on the site weekly.
These jokes are squeaky clean but with plenty of innuendo. Laugh away!
Submitted by: Ron Annas
"Balls" cried the Queen, "If I had two, I would be KIng!" And The King laughed because he had to!
Submitted by: Philip Joseph
What do you call a cow without legs? "Ground Beef"
Submitted by: Cara
A Pirate walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender and orders a drink. The bartender asks "Do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The Pirate replies " Argh! It's driving me nuts!"
Submitted by: Mario
Overheard from an angry mother to her child: Your father is one of the most timid men i know. He's just like a plain old Christmas tree...he's got no balls!
Submitted by: Dan
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.” “Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”
WARNING: These jokes may contain fowl language, sexual content, and generally things you wouldn't repeat in front of your grandmother. Don't say we didn't warn ya! 'Cuz we did...right up there...
Submitted by: Araballdaylong
What has 82 balls & lives in the desert? Alibaba & his 40 thieves& that dosent include the horses!
Submitted by: Paulie
A man took his new suit to Mario the Tailor and asked him to alter it. When Mario asked why it need his attention the man replied that his new suit was like a cheap hotel. Puzzled, Mario asked why, the man replied the suit was like a cheap hotel because it had no ball room.
Submitted by: Patty
Two old farmers were digging potatoes when one pulls 2 HUGE potatoes out of the ground at once. He exclaims, "I'm taking these taters home to my wife, they look just like my balls!" The other old farmer is amazed and questions, "Your balls are THAT BIG?" The 1st old farmer says, "No, but they're that dirty!!!"
Submitted by: george
A man walks into a shrinks office completely wrapped in clear cellophane and the Dr. says" Obviously I can see your nuts."
Submitted by: Elizabeth Kellogg
What did Monica Lewinsky do when she got to the ball? She choked.
Submitted by: Todd Money
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can!
Submitted by: Whit
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life. Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening. Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
Submitted by: Whitney Calloway
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Submitted by: Gary
This woman was working on Tickle Me Elmo in the toy factory. She was called into her boss's office and given instructions on her next task. She set out to follow her instructions and was sewing two small sacks when her boss came back to check on her. "What are you doing?" he asked, and looked over the two small sacks she had almost completed. "Making the testicles you asked for," she replied innocently. Her boss turned to her angrily and said, "No! I said give him two test tickles!"
Submitted by: Meg
After attending a golf tournement, an older gentleman heads back to his car on the shuttle. A young blonde girl is sitting across from him, seemingly staring at the bulge in his pockets. He says to her "golf balls". She replies, "Oh,dear, is it as painful as tennis elbow?"
Submitted by: B
A guy goes to see his doctor because his left ball is hurting. He say to the doc "my left nut is killing me" and the doc says "well, let's have a look." Unfortunately, the doc determines that the man has testicular cancer in his left nut and has to remove it. So, the guy goes in for surgery and the doc is able to remove his ball without any problems. Having removed it, the doc takes a close look at it and suddenly the phone rings. He places the guys ball on the window sill and answers the phone. During the call a cat jumps up on the window sill and finds the guy's ball and takes it home. The doc returns to the window and to his dismay realizes the ball is missing. He freaks out after searching around on the floor, under the desk and outside the window. Having exhausted all possible places the ball could have gone, he finally gives up, but then has a thought. In the office frig, there is a sack of small white onions so he goes to have a look. There are only a few to choose from, but luckily there is one that is the perfect size, so he returns to the operating room and replaces the guys left nut with the onion, sews him up and sends him to the recovery room. The guy wakes up, feels fine and is discharged in a few hours. The doctor is relieved, but then he realizes that the onion will rot and begins to worry about a sure law suit. Six weeks pass and the guy is due to come in for a check up. The doc is sure that he is going to be sued, however the man shows up and seems to be as happy as can be. The doc asks him, how he is doing and the guy says "I'm doing great. No pain and I feel much better than I did before the surgery.". The doc is relieved but then the guy says "the only problem is that when I'm banging my wife, she always starts to cry".