Ball Jokes

   
A man took his new suit to Mario the Tailor and asked him to alter it. When Mario asked why it need his attention the man replied that his new suit was like a cheap hotel.  Puzzled, Mario asked why, the man replied the suit was like a cheap hotel because it had no ball room.

   
Two old farmers were digging potatoes when one pulls 2 HUGE potatoes out of the ground at once. He exclaims, "I'm taking these taters home to my wife, they look just like my balls!" The other old farmer is amazed and questions, "Your balls are THAT BIG?" The 1st old farmer says, "No, but they're that dirty!!!"

   
A man walks into a shrinks office completely wrapped in clear cellophane and the Dr. says" Obviously I can see your nuts."

   
What did Monica Lewinsky do when she got to the ball?

She choked.

   
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?

A: Because they can!

   
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

   
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

Because they don't have balls to scratch.

   
This woman was working on Tickle Me Elmo in the toy factory. She was called into her boss's office and given instructions on her next task. She set out to follow her instructions and was sewing two small sacks when her boss came back to check on her. "What are you doing?" he asked, and looked over the two small sacks she had almost completed. "Making the testicles you asked for," she replied innocently. Her boss turned to her angrily and said, "No! I said give him two test tickles!" 

   
After attending a golf tournement, an older gentleman heads back to his car on the shuttle.  A young blonde girl is sitting across from him, seemingly staring at the bulge in his pockets.  He says to her "golf balls".  She replies, "Oh,dear, is it as painful as tennis elbow?"

   
A guy goes to see his doctor because his left ball is hurting. He say to the doc "my left nut is killing me" and the doc says "well, let's have a look." Unfortunately, the doc determines that the man has testicular cancer in his left nut and has to remove it.

So, the guy goes in for surgery and the doc is able to remove his ball without any problems. Having removed it, the doc takes a close look at it and suddenly the phone rings. He places the guys ball on the window sill and answers the phone. During the call a cat jumps up on the window sill and finds the guy's ball and takes it home. 

The doc returns to the window and to his dismay realizes the ball is missing. He freaks out after searching around on the floor, under the desk and outside the window. Having exhausted all possible places the ball could have gone, he finally gives up, but then has a thought. 

In the office frig, there is a sack of small white onions so he goes to have a look. There are only a few to choose from, but luckily there is one that is the perfect size, so he returns to the operating room and replaces the guys left nut with the onion, sews him up and sends him to the recovery room.

The guy wakes up, feels fine and is discharged in a few hours. The doctor is relieved, but then he realizes that the onion will rot and begins to worry about a sure law suit. 

Six weeks pass and the guy is due to come in for a check up. The doc is sure that he is going to be sued, however the man shows up and seems to be as happy as can be. The doc asks him, how he is doing and the guy says "I'm doing great. No pain and I feel much better than I did before the surgery.". The doc is relieved but then the guy says "the only problem is that when I'm banging my wife, she always starts to cry".